Fingerprints of God

Several times in the last few weeks, I've been brought back again to the beautiful words of Psalm 139. It truly is one of my favorite scriptures and over and over I feel the words coming to life. As I prayed for different friends in different situations, this beautiful scripture came to me again. To me, it is this beautiful account of God's deep and lasting love for us.

It reminded me of the way God drew me to him in a new way through the experiences of my life. The fingerprints of God on my life. I recalled a time in my life, especially as a newly single parent that I felt so bad about myself, I was almost paralyzed in this view of myself as a pretty unlovely person. I was broken. That had a great deal with the fact that the one I had carefully chosen to love and take marriage vows with, had decided he no longer loved me. The betrayal and rejection of those feelings, along with still trying to run my house, hold down and job and care for my children was more than overwhelming.

Through the chaos and pain, though, I was brought into an even deeper love affair with God. This Psalm had a great deal to do with it. I remember in all my brokenness one night being led to this Psalm and it has become a comfort and a joy to me. The thing is, God drew my focus off myself and my situation and onto to Him. That was the change for me. I can remember not just acknowledging my faith or feeling God's love. It was as if I heard God whisper, "RECEIVE my love." Something in my heart changed then. It wasn't just a God moment to me. It was THE moment. God's clear fingerprints on my life. On my heart. On my soul.

In David's Psalm he proclaims: "You hem me in both behind and in front and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is so high that I cannot attain it… For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; I know that full well." (Psalm 139:5-6, 13-14). I love the passion that David protrays in this Psalm and the knowledge that the reason for our creation is beyond ourselveslves.

On a summer night when my entire family (my parents, siblings and families and my sons and I) were on a vacation at the Jersey shore. I was on the deck alone. I looked out over the bay and up to the full moon and the millions of twinkling stars. As I gazed into the sky, the beauty was breathtaking. I thought of this Psalm and of the vastness of creation and thought and God's fingerprints on creation and His fingerprints on my life.

That God of all creation knit me in mother's womb, knows the number of hairs on my head (even the gray ones), and has laid out my life before me is too wonderful a thought. I am fully known and loved by the God of the universe. Fingerprints on my life.

I know that when I was at my weakest, most broken was when I was able to empty myself and receive God's grace--His unmerited favor--to bring me to Him. To set my eyes on Him and away from my circumstance. I was dying inside. I was hungry and thirsty. And I didn't know. I couldn't see. But He knew. And emptying myself, pouring all of myself out, and coming into His presence and receiving that love and grace allowed me to open myself to His leading, His healing, His plan for my life. Fingerprints.

The journey of knowing God, His love and His grace as my Comforter, Healer, Author, Creator, Life Giver, Life Sustainer and Redeemer gives amazing joy. I am changed because I received. Because God would not let me go, no matter the circumstance. Now I spend my life living KNOWING I am a Child of God, wholly loved, completely forgiven and a new creation every morning. The hope that God gave me can't even be expressed in words.

Wonderful are your works. I know that full well. Your love and grace change everything.