Dawn of a New Day

The longs streaks of sun reach down through the trees
Causing their own shadows but brightening the blue sky
The new day has dawned, and a new year awaits
A sparkling new slate of possibility and wonder

We take stock over what has been
We remember that difficult times
And we recognize our weaknesses
That gave way to strengths

We look at the way we have accomplishes
And we acknowledge mistakes we have made
We strive with obedience moving in the same direction
To be better and more than we were

We long for the fruits of the spirit to be whole within us:
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness
Desiring to listen more, talk less
Bringing light into the dark places of the world

Paying attention to all that is around us:
Not going through our life with blinders on
But opening ourselves to everyday moments
Because everything matters and everything belongs

There are hopes and dreams within us
To be expressed and renewed and realized
And there dreams of our Creator and Redeemer
That will take hold in each Spirit

What hope lies within in us
As we strive to remember what matters
And put the unnecessary, petty thoughts aside
To work together for a greater good

For every moment, may we press forward
With joy, and longing and truth.
To be more than we were, with deeper understanding
Living for the One we belong to.

SAFE HARBOR

I love to visit a lighthouse
To see the surroundings
To look out over the water
Where once upon a time
Ships looked to the lighthouse
To find their way on the darkest of night.

I think about the light
That illumines from them
Not a trickle, or a glimmer
But brilliant, guiding light that shines
Not in a soft meek way, like candelight
But with boldness and shine and lustre

A beacon in a dark night
How I would love to play that role
To be the guiding light for all the vessels
Out rolling over the waves of the sea
Trying to find the beacon...
Finding their way to the safe harbor.

I know that is what I've found
This bright beacon that illuminates the night
That calls me home and directs my path
That leads me onward, always by its light.

Why am always looking for what I cannot find?
When the light is burning brightly, showing me the way
The light is calling my name -- I hear it, I see it
A beacon in the night cannot be mistaken.

The beacon that guides me finally
To the safe harbor.

Beacon of Light

I find there is not enough light

To illumine every place I step

To light the way on the path

That I need to follow.

But there is enough light

Just for this step

Just for this moment

To be left breathless

By God's working,

His awakening me in this way.

I think of a ship on the ocean

And the lighthouse brigtening the way

It is still dark, but ahead there is a glimmer

And then a glow, that seems to call them home

And now I see it everywhere

Because I am alive to it through the Spirit

That moves so deeply I am brimming with hope

For I know the ordinary gives way to extraordinary

A beacon of light shining

Within and lending the light to others

Just for this step, this moment

To be embraced, and changed

The light is like that

The darkness being left behind

The glimmer, the glow, the burning bright

Of the light that is hope

Butterfly with a Broken Wing

There was day that I found the most amazing butterfly

He had a broken wing and seemed a little bruised

But upon looking much more closely at his colors

Deep below, I found the most beautiful creature

The funny thing was, I think I had a battered wing, too

Wounded by a past of hurts too deep my colors had faded

But finding the butterfly, as if finding the perfect grain of sand

Was more of a gift than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams

Sometimes when you find something, even if for awhile

That seems to be given to you to help you fly again

No words can really express the brilliance of the moment

But you are aware that everything has a place and purpose

Finding the butterfly and being found by the wounded butterfly

Brought deep joy and remembrance of the preciousness of beginnings

Of stories shared, like a meeting of souls and a chance to dream again

But butterflies don't always stay, they are meant to fly

And the butterfly with the broken wing and this butterfly knew

The time would come and even if they soared in separate directions

The gift of finding each other and letting go were equally beautiful

Because there was a love within the seeking, the finding

And of the fluttering and the healing of the wings

That brought them together, but then let them be set free

To always know they were richer, better for the journey

And the broken wings could mend, even if worn

Because love was the center and courage was the release

And it left each of them with brighter colors within

And always when I soar, I can smile and know

Setting the butterfly of each of us free

Also allowed dreams to soar to the heavens

And souls to be changed forever

And be deeply reminded that love still matters.

The promise of new life in the butterfly

Still makes me smile.

Broken to Beautiful

A friend asked me recently

How I made sense of the losses in life

And not to lose faith in spite of them

And I prayed for the discernment to know...

But I'm at the point of my life where I know

That losses bring about just as much depth

And understanding as love and joy

For it is in the letting go that I've discovered

The true sense of myself and where I belong.

For God has taken all the pieces of me...

Sorrows as well as joys, heartache as well as triumphs

And woven them together...just as He knit me together in Creation

So that my life's story could be told and could bring Glory to Him

For losses and griefs may seem overwhelming at times

But they give me a deeper sense of who I am at the core of my soul

And they give me an amazing hope when I realize, once again

That all that is broken--all the wounds, loss and pain--

Have been healed to reveal something deeper, richer, fuller

All that is broken is made beautiful.

For with a heart of faith, there is a glimmering hope that shines

For the gift of learning finally how to let go of what does not belong

And the gift of clinging to the One I do belong to -- completely, wholly

Shows me that all the pieces of brokenness that once were scattered

Are just clinks in the armor of love--wounds that have been restored,

Lessons learned, and faith deepened to overflowing to the God who is my refuge

And strength, the One who already knowsHis plans for me

Who doesn't view me as broken, but as His beautiful Child

The One who satisfies the desires of my heart

The One who forgives the crimson of my guilty stains

The One who has taught me I am no longer unworthy

But a masterpiece He created to be used for His glory.

The One who turns broken into beautiful.

Lenten Journey

Loosening my grip, releasing

What is not mine anyway

The shadows and mystery begin

Lent quietly enters

On the the journey to the cross.

I can no longer find myself unworthy

For with You, I find myself completely loved

The vivid colors of the gift of life You created

And I cannot deny your precious grace

So in awe of the rythms of life that point to You

When I am open and attentive and responsive

That you weave, bit by bit into the flow of this soul

With understanding and compassion that changes me.

You tenderly call me into your embrace

Whispering, at first, and revealing your presence--

Sometimes as gently as a shooting star in the sky,

Or as boldly as the rough waves crashing in the middle of a storm

At times, in the most ordinary, everyday manner

But other times, in unsual, surprising, even asotnishing ways

Opening the dimness in my vision and uncovering what I don't hear clearly

Drawing me ever closer into the the love story that leads to the cross

But does end there.

Beyond the cross to the empty tomb

And the undeniable hope that you wrap me in

Trusting and following the Faithful One

Into the mystery of your holy sanctuary

Of your extravagant and enduring love.

On Snowy Days Like These

On snowy days like these

My mind wanders back to my childhood

Of the farm I grew up on and the extensive landscape

A blanket snow falling onto the field beyond the farm

The woods surrounding seeming to call us

For a sled riding adventure or snow fort making

But it was then I realized the gift of snow

Standing in the woods, beyond the laughs and glee

The quietness, the silence, the solace of it all

Snow falling gently or crunching beneath my feet

I love when I am called into the silence

Where I see and hear and feel

Such simple and pure gifts

That point me to the Creator

I am reminded that the busyness of life envelops me sometimes

I go too fast towards things that do not matter,

Instead of enjoying the glimpes, tasting the Living Water

Hearing someone's cry, choosing the light

And I realize I don't want miss the most precious moments

Of a touch, or a smile, or the light in someone's eyes

And somehow this moment reminds of that

Of all I can miss is I don't pay attention

Now, I go out my own door and there is

The smallest patch of woods beyond our front door

And I am called there again, with the beauty of the snowy day

So delicately laced on the bushes and trees

I walk to the center and look up

Remembering the joy of those first snowy days

The pure white, untouched, innocence in the landscape

The whisper of wind that I am sure is calling my name

Here, in this moment, I am so aware, so awakened

I remember and embrace the gift

The glory of the grace that surrounds

And I am so grateful.

Seeking Freedom

One step forward, two steps back

Why do I land in the same place I started?

Striving, journeying, reaching

Then like stepping on a slippery rock

I am back here again, Lord

Consumed sometimes by what holds me--

Caught in busyness and petty things that don't matter.

Held back by difficult choices, expended by discontent

Trapped by bitterness or resentment I still hold instead of releasing

Still, after all this time, that seed of unworthiness

Rears its ugly head as if I've never grown past the wounds

And, yet, they are just seeds that need to be surrendered

To the deeper faith that shines, even if only a glimmer at times

The perfect love I've accepted from You drives out fear

Teach me to live what I know firmly, but cannot see

And to sit patiently in that abiding faith with great trust

Because I know you hold my hand and hold me up

I am nothing without You, and I am reminded

True freedom can only come through you

Your faithfulness, like a soothing spring rain

Renewing and refreshing my soul

Ever deepening my resolve to honor you:

Loving unconditionally

Forgiving completely

Remembering wholly

The gift of the cross

Still on the journey

And grateful to belong to You

Finding what I seek:

Freedom.

Losing Your True North

Sometimes life is full of wonderful surprises

Blessings, really, that you know you don't deserve

I believe that's God's grace blowing through

Making you know you are seen and heard and loved

Sometimes that gift comes in a way

That makes your world so complete

Someone understands you deeply

Someone encourages your gifts

Someone loves you with an earthly love

Like you have not experienced before

When that gift is given it changes you

You see the world in these bright vivid colors

A rainbow--so glorious and brilliant

And the horizon is forever illuminated ahead

The gift is given and you know you won't be the same

And you long to know that the gift will last forever

But you can only take it one day at a time

Because, for you, it's like a miracle

That you've spent your life longing for

You find your true north

It is deep and satisfying

It is joyful and hopeful

It is deep and sensitive

It is a culmination

Of dreams finally coming true

Then just like that

Your true north disintegrates before you

The path you were traveling twists and turns again

And you are left with an ache that can't be described

Yet, your true north is a journey

To find who you were truly created to be

Persistent love that brought you here

And though it has been taken away

You look up through the tears

And a rainbow lights the sky again

Reminding you

God keeps His promises

And He will never leave

Just keep true north

Burning in your heart.

When the Soul Grows Through Loss

Loss always brings grief--

Sometimes loss is life-altering

Sometimes it's less intense
Sometimes the onset sudden
Sometimes it comes quietly and slowly
Like the night falling on the distant horizon


For so long I was afraid to dream my dreams
So aware that my life had taken twists and turns
That I had never though would happen to me
So I tucked my dreams away deep inside myself


But I found new joy as I found such peace
As I discovered my dreams again
Making the passions of my soul soar
Experiencing this innate God-given joy inside


Greeting the darkness with an assurance
That the light will shine again
Starting as a small spark, a glow, a glimmer
Giving way to the light to shine brightly


Even through grief and suffering
Realizing the soul grows through loss
Knowing now that dreams are meant to dream
But God's dreams may be much different than mine


Realizing the depth of loss
Means there was a depth of love
And that can never be viewed
As anything less than a pure gift


Trusting God--the One who never leaves
To walk through the storms
To reshape, reform, renew
Through grace that transforms


Forcing me to come to the end of myself
To find the new beginning again--
Growing in my deepest spirtual self
Living out the innate joy inside
Striving to live compassion in the world
So aware of the gift of simple blessings

Grateful for each day
Joyful for what was
Thankful for what is
Hopeful for what is yet to be

REMAINING IN HIM

You don’t allow me to stay stuck very long
Tears stream down my face when I realize
How hard I am just trying to hold in all together
For the benefit of everyone else.

And then I sit here in the dark
In the silence
And feel your presence
Enveloping my soul.

Always in your presence
But especially in pain
I feel the gateway to comfort
Slowly, quietly like a whisper, You come.

No matter the circumstance
I feel your love covering me
With an intensity that won’t let me go.

Sometimes I can only whisper the prayers
And sometimes they don’t come at all
But still, I come, because I know I’ll find you
I seek, because I know I find
All that I need

I am certain through this life of faith
That through perseverance
I have more of an ability to endure

Because you never leave.

Whether I am tasting a cup of sorrow
Or drinking with vitality your joy
You have taught me so well
To remain in you.

Through every assurance and failure
Through every sin and triumph
Through every twist in the road
Through every straight highway

All of it ends at the same place
All of it, every moment, every breath
Leads me back to you.

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

Journey

Still the chill of winter
Yet the song of spring beckons us
Spring and newness with all it's hope

Yet, there are still frozen parts within me
That need introspection and examination
Cleansing and healing
Darkness lays heavy

But only as an opportunity
To reach farther
To love more deeply
To lift the veil from my own heart
To walk the path
And look to the horizon

Waiting for the dawn
To journey to the cross
Of sacrifice and pain
To the light of the tomb

From the dark to the light
The journey continues
To renew, to refresh
A gift of rebirth.

Mystery

Jesus.

It’s impossible to portray Him wholly—

To define him, explain him,He is mystery.

Humble and daring

Soft spoken and blistering

Full of sorrow, full of joy

Strongly meek and quietly bold

Child of heaven

Son of earth

Power of eternity

Bearer of light

Former of worlds

Shaper of souls

Storm of glory

Love of God

Offender of religious

Befriender of the lost and wandering

Lamb of sacrifice

Lion of Judah

King of kings

Servant of servants

Quieter of storms

Disturber of peace

Holiness of humanity

For I no longer just know about Him.

Now, I know Him.

For when the veil is lifted

And I see Him as he is

Nothing is the same:

Transformer, Earth-shatterer,Life-giver,

Healer, Comforter, Soul-consumer, Sustainer, Redeemer.

Savior.

Jesus.

OPEN VESSEL

Mystery of faith, transformer of life
You have descended, Spirit of the Living God
Shaping my soul, awakening my core
Creating the path, leading me on.

Astounded that I see gifts I never possessed
Welling up inside so fearlessly and boldly
Tearing down the walls I had built up
Making what was broken, whole.

My cup of life that had seemed
Broken, flawed and damaged
My perception, not Yours
Perfection never the goal
But my humanness, formed by You

You have given all for me
As witnessed by the gift of the cross
But have I received—really received
And surrendered all I am back to you?

Accepting the forming of my soul
This developing, slow growth inside
Instead of my anxious control
Embracing Your grace, my humanness
Rejoicing in the gift of the Spirit

Cherishing the unsolicited
As offerings of your design
the unknown
To treasure the unfulfilled

Learning to love the flaws
And sure now of their purpose
As I let go in gratefulness
To be used for your glory.

Finally, an open vessel.

Pressing On

Lent is when you have me look intentionally, deliberately, purposefully
Into the well of my soul-- to all I am becoming—drawing me nearer
I feel the nudge, the prod, the desire to move
From this comfortable, contented place that I get stuck in

Your mercy is new every morning
Yet, I pause to ponder whether the newness of my soul
Means I should be approaching life differently
Seeking the unexpected, surprised by the unpredictable

Because your love isn’t something to put
In a beautiful golden box – all neat and tidy
But your love is transformational and life-changing
I can let go of my desire for seeking perfection
Because instead I’m desperately seeking you, God

Here I am brutally honest about being ordinary, broken and human
Knowing that you can take this life, these experiences
And make something beautiful to be used for your glory
Soaked and bathed in endless mercy and grace

Am I aware enough that you challenge me to be more?
To go deeper, to take risks, to approach the painful, prickly paths?
Am I connected enough to be at peace with the silence and in tune with you?
Or does my own schedule, program and plan become my short-sighted focus?

Instead, Lord, I long to be open and willing and waiting
Tearing down the walls that are really my fears
Peeling away the masks that I still hide behind
Forgetting sometimes that I am already accepted, loved

So entwined in the routine of life, that I shut myself off
From the way you want me to take the leap of faith
Push myself to the edge, allow my heart to race in anticipation
And uncover the truth. Your truth. Boldly being your light in the world.

Ignite the fire within me. And don’t let it burn out.
Until you have finished your work in me.
Give me the desire to persevere and endure.
Always keeping my goal on the cross of Jesus Christ.

Singing in My Soul

When I finally learn

That walking through valleys

Helps me seek and draw near

To The Holy One--

Is when I find peace

Darkness and shadows 

Can surround and consume,

Fear and doubt can set in

But when trust and hope

Are finally lived in truth,

That's when I hear it--

The singing in my soul

It may start with lament--

The wails of pain that hold me

But slowly it is in the singing

Through the sorrow

That I learn my life's song

Reminding me

I walk by faith and not by sight

And I am moved by this deep mystery

The God who NEVER leaves

Who has a bigger plan

Than I can possibly dream

Is present deep within me 

And I am enveloped

In unfathomable awe and wonder

As the darkness changes to light

And then God paints instead

A rainbow, a masterpiece

Of vivid and vibrant colors again

And out of the dark I always hear it:

First one note, then another and another

Joining in a melody that is uniquely mine.

A tune that begins softly,

Then builds in intensity.

Increasing and lifting to new heights

Pulling me out of every depth

Becoming a beautiful piece of music--

My music, my path, my choice, my life

To the point of clear and ringing harmony

Purest praise that I sing not with my voice

But with the song that wells up in my soul

Lenten Poem: A WATERED GARDEN

Thinking about the journey to the cross and Jesus' time in the wilderness began my thoughts of our own wilderness, our own hunger and thirst for the Holy, the sacred.


The earth, still untilled Surface layer hardened by winter
Barren, brown and dry
Brittle and broken stems
Lifeless, dull, fruitless


But through the soil
The tiller digs in deeply
And uproots the dried blossoms
And gives new life to what lay dormant
Forcing its way through a winter crust


Feel the blazing of bright sunlight
The warm wind blowing freely
The deep thirsting for rain
To bathe with refreshment
Waiting, wanting, longing


Sensing the approach of a rainstorm
Hearing the wind and the thunder roar
Its rumbling drawing nearer
Crack of lightning blazing the sky


And now just stillness...
The air is heavy
And one raindrop falls
Then another and another
Tumbling down upon you...
Splashing and dancing and dribbling


Through the openings of the soil
Falling faster and faster
A steady pace now
Trickling rivulets
Sinking deep into all
The readied and prepared spaces


The watering refreshes
The newness invigorates
The roots deep within and new shoots
Cleansed and purified, now flourishing



From wilderness to thriving
From emptiness to fullness
From bleakness to abundance
From death of resurrection
From despair to hope

Worship and Wonder

I have such a deep appreciation for worship. I was fortunate to have some really amazing teachers in my family and in ministry as God called me deeper to understanding and appreciating true worship. There are so many facets of worship. And Lent, for me, is good time to once examine corporate and personal worship in my life...making sure always that the One who never leaves me is the one who deserves all the glory.

IF NOT FOR THE WONDER

True worship...the response we bring,

Holy God, through eyes of faith,

We see a magnificent picture painted

Of Your strong and beautiful character.

In Your holiness we hear your voice of truth that we seek,

Our hearts are lifted in devotion,

Desiring to give you honor and glory.

When we behold the mystery and delight in your majesty,

With hearts open, genuine worship thrives on wonder.

We can adore and value others without a sense of awe,

But cannot worship and honor you without the revelation of wonder.

The highest mountain peak and widest canyon depths

Are just an echo to your unfathomable, immeasurable, infinite splendor.

Your strength and power ar beyond our comprehension,

Like the widest horizon, so matchless is your love and grace,

far beyond our understanding.

Yet, you don't NEED our worship,

but you LOVE our worship.

Your delight in heartfelt offerings of the deepest parts of ourselves--

Everything we could offer You, has first been provided by You.

Yet, there is joy of the loving Father poured out on His cherished children.

We come in awe to respond to your faithfulness and righteousness.

We draw close to you, our God, praising you, in light of the cross.

We cannot enter worship on our own goodness,

but THROUGH Jesus and WITH Jesus and IN Jesus

We honor the gift: your ways and your thoughts are higher than we could ever imagine

And we worship in endless wonder

Entering Lent

There is something so special about the season of Lent for me.  The focused opportunity for introspection, reflection and renewal really speaks strongly to me.  The journey to the cross is always very special to me.  I hope to share some poetry and prose that help me to go deeper, and grow deeper in my love for Christ.

Seeking and Finding

Making space

Loving silence

Encouraging stillness

Seeking peace

Learning to be fully alive

Listening to the life

for which we were created

Finding solace

Connecting--spirit to spirit

Refocusing the lens

Through which we view the world

That can become dull and lifeless

Through our sin and shortcoming

Taking time to adjust the lens

To alter or enhance our perspective

To renew a brighter view

Allowing the distorted to become clear

Surrounded by noise

A constant battering of sound

Distracting the holy and sacred

Disrupting the silence

Creating space

Between empty and open

Or empty and closed up

Or empty and closed in

Observing the patterns

That awakens the discovery

Of ourselves

Of each other

Unearthing the face

Of the One we seek

Living in Deep Water

Living in the Deep Water

I understand some things about my life:

That I want to live in the deep water

That it is what I have chosen

And a part of the complexity of who I am

Not deep water of the sea that consumes you

So you feel you are weighed down and drowning

But deep water so you feel anything and everything

With a deep sensitivity of heart and soul

And not just what lies on the surface

True, living below the surface can be hard and painful

Trying to make sense of losses and struggle and challenges

Trying to see how the tapestry of life is woven together

Both the innate joy and the veil of darkness that sometimes sets in

Having to peel every layer away and reveal the depth of my soul

Responding to the voice deep within instead of remaining passive

Like a caterpillar encased in the warmth of the coccoon

Risking all to become a creature of beauty ready to fly

Living my truth, and not the truth others imagine for me

Invoking diligence and courage and fortitude and strength

That is not second nature to me, but rather a gift I receive

When I am open and ready and willing to seek, and then accept

For so long I lived on the surface, making everyone else happy

Yet not experiencing and receiving the gifts I was given to share in the world

Not loving myself enough, so it was impossible to truly love others genuinely

Until I was to be pulled from the surface and enter the deep water

Deep water that allows me to let go of what was

Deep water that hopes for what is yet to be

Deep water that washes me clean

Deep water that allows freedom and soaring

Deep water that empowers me to experience the flow of life

Knowing that without the deep water

I would never have known

What lies inherently and profoundly within

And how God is ever shaping me still, even in the deep water