Light in the Dark

Last week I was riding down the the highway after a newfallen snow. It was just a dusting, but enough to provide a fresh white covering to the ground and crystallize the branches of the trees. It was early in the morning and the sun was just starting to rise to it's place in the sky. I noticed the yellow-orange illuminate the woods and then rise to enhance this beautiful creation.

As the sun rose to it's place I noticed the brilliant reflection that occurs when the bright sun shines on the snow-fallen earth. The themes of light and darkness always take me to the grace of God in my life.

I remember traveling down the same highway 10+ years ago. It wasn't a snowfall, but a scorching summer day. The day after my husband had left. This snow and light reflection, took me back to that time of darkness for a moment. On that first day I had taken my sons (6 and 3) to school and the babysitter, I could hardly keep the tears from them, I had the sickest feeling in my stomach and when I got in the car to go to work I was trembling so badly. Just the way they looked me with their eyes, as if to say, "Will everything be alright?" as smiled and reassured them, but was unsure, broken and wounded. I could barely drive. As I composed myself somewhat I turned the radio on and the song "Shine On Us" by Phillips, Craig and Dean was playing. It's first I had heard it and the words reached directly to my heart and became my theme for that time of darkness:

Lord, let Your light,

light of Your face

Shine on us (repeat)

That we may be saved

That we may have life

To shine our way in the darkest night

Let your light shine on us Lord,

let your grace,

grace from Your hand,

Come over us (repeat)

That we may be saved

That we may have life

To shine our way in the darkest night

Let Your grace come over usLord,

let Your love, love with no end

Fall on us (repeat)

That we may be saved,

That we may have life

To shine our way in the darkest night

Let Your love fall on us

Let Your light shine on us

The tears rolled down my cheeks and that song became my song, my prayer when I couldn't pray. After I heard the song for the first time, all I said was, "God, let me find the light." And that theme of darkness and light has be present in all I've walked through on this journey. In some ways, I think you truly know the brilliance of the light (or of Jesus) even more brightly having walked through the darkness. I just know that over and over God's grace saves me and that God never, ever has left me. And I know his "love with no end" shines on me and in me. Even on the days when the light is just a glimmer or a soft glow, it is the light of Jesus in my life that gives me hope to strive to be a beacon of light to give Him glory. Because out of the darkness a light shines. And I am grateful.

In Matthew (Eugene Peterson's, The Message) it tells us: "Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. " (Matt 5:15-17)

Shine on!