Stepping Stones

So sure that is the really big truths that matter
The grandiose, the lovely, the powerful
Until God gives me a new view to ponder
And I realize that each moment, each breath
Is a path to new life, to freedom, to truth

Parenting teenagers is a bit like that
Letting go, seeing mistakes being made
And then suddently, sweetly seeing
One step at a time, the light appear

From the darkness, a glimmer, a glimpse
Like the dawn of a new day the light
Just like the depths of my own soul
Where I have kept pain or hurt alive
Instead of letting go to move to healing

As God reveals Himself in new ways
I am blessed to know
His mercies are new every morning
Each stepping stone on the path
A gift I had not expected

Each day a new opportunity
To experience God's amazing grace
One breath at a time
One moment, one glimpse, one smile

Each precious stepping stone
The reminder of
The way, the truth, the life
And am left again, in awe

Losing Your True North

Sometimes life is full of wonderful surprises

Blessings, really, that you know you don't deserve

I believe that's God's grace blowing through

Making you know you are seen and heard and loved

Sometimes that gift comes in a way

That makes your world so complete

Someone understands you deeply

Someone encourages your gifts

Someone loves you with an earthly love

Like you have not experienced before

When that gift is given it changes you

You see the world in these bright vivid colors

A rainbow--so glorious and brilliant

And the horizon is forever illuminated ahead

The gift is given and you know you won't be the same

And you long to know that the gift will last forever

But you can only take it one day at a time

Because, for you, it's like a miracle

That you've spent your life longing for

You find your true north

It is deep and satisfying

It is joyful and hopeful

It is deep and sensitive

It is a culmination

Of dreams finally coming true

Then just like that

Your true north disintegrates before you

The path you were traveling twists and turns again

And you are left with an ache that can't be described

Yet, your true north is a journey

To find who you were truly created to be

Persistent love that brought you here

And though it has been taken away

You look up through the tears

And a rainbow lights the sky again

Reminding you

God keeps His promises

And He will never leave

Just keep true north

Burning in your heart.

BE GOOD FRIENDS

BE GOOD FRIENDS

“Be good friends
Who love deeply.
Face each other
In love and understanding.”

In friendship, be true and open
Your lives and hearts
And in humility pray for each other
For patience, wisdom, peace,
Forgiveness and trust.

And embrace the failings and hurts
That are caused and received
In honesty and in understanding—
To accept each other in all our humanness

For this simple truth remains:
Sharing and receiving love in true,
Deep, connected friendship in concrete ways
Requires us to open our hearts, to risk ourselves—
And there is some pain and uncomfortableness
In that truth.

But only in honest, authentic friendship
That is given by God
Can we learn about ourselves
And each other—
The treasures in our hearts,
Who God has called us to be
What gifts we have to offer the world

For in God-given ordinariness
We rediscover each other
In a profound way.

When the Soul Grows Through Loss

Loss always brings grief--

Sometimes loss is life-altering

Sometimes it's less intense
Sometimes the onset sudden
Sometimes it comes quietly and slowly
Like the night falling on the distant horizon


For so long I was afraid to dream my dreams
So aware that my life had taken twists and turns
That I had never though would happen to me
So I tucked my dreams away deep inside myself


But I found new joy as I found such peace
As I discovered my dreams again
Making the passions of my soul soar
Experiencing this innate God-given joy inside


Greeting the darkness with an assurance
That the light will shine again
Starting as a small spark, a glow, a glimmer
Giving way to the light to shine brightly


Even through grief and suffering
Realizing the soul grows through loss
Knowing now that dreams are meant to dream
But God's dreams may be much different than mine


Realizing the depth of loss
Means there was a depth of love
And that can never be viewed
As anything less than a pure gift


Trusting God--the One who never leaves
To walk through the storms
To reshape, reform, renew
Through grace that transforms


Forcing me to come to the end of myself
To find the new beginning again--
Growing in my deepest spirtual self
Living out the innate joy inside
Striving to live compassion in the world
So aware of the gift of simple blessings

Grateful for each day
Joyful for what was
Thankful for what is
Hopeful for what is yet to be

Life Anchor

Life-Anchor, hold me steady

When the storms I don't expect

Gently start in the whisper of the wind

And end up blowing furiously, one big deep wisp after another

Life-Anchor, hold me steady

When what is beautiful

Slowly falls apart and I cannot stop its destruction

Dreams dashed, relationships crumbled, leaving me hollow inside

Life-Anchor, hold me steady

When the darkest of nights fall around

When the fiercest of storms come my way

And I am left in the silence, in the rubble, in the pain

Life-Anchor, hold me steady

Like the woman at the well--a soul searcher

Needing to be made whole from the inside out

I come needing to drink of life-giving water

Life-Anchor, hold me steady

Who already paid the price for my freedom

On the cross where my stains were paid in full

Only hope and grace of the cross remain

Life-Anchor, hold me steady

For I am consumed and I need release

For this hole that reveals the scars in my heart

Can only be made full in the One who never leaves

Life-Anchor, hold me steady

For no pain, or struggle or sin can separate me

From finding the magnificent beauty and light

When I lay everything at the foot of the cross.

Life-Anchor.

The Journey of Letting Go

It was a particularly beautiful spring evening. I headed off to the park for an evening stroll and to spend time with God. There was so much action…teenagers playing football, bikes zooming by, geese descending on the pond so gracefully. I head up the hill and turn off on a hiking trail. I take in the sounds and sights and smells. The oak trees tower above and the smell of fragrant flowering blossoms and new grass and leaves fill the air. I am surrounded by the beauty of nature and grateful for the moments spent awakened and aware of God’s presence.

In the distance I see a Mom on her bike with two small boys following behind. The younger one is just learning to ride and by the time I reach them, the Mom and son are exasperated that he’s tired, he can’t do it, he won’t do it. I smile to myself. Her eyes meet mine and I greet her. “I’m a single Mom, “ she says, as if needing to explain her frustration, her look of being totally overwhelmed. “I am, too, “ I smile at her. “You are?” she asks incredulously. I stop and talk to the boy s and to her. She wants to know why I don’t seem as tired as her. (In truth, I’m exhausted.) I explain that my boys are grown and that I’m experiencing a very different level of parenting. She says, “What I wouldn't do for one walk in the park by myself…I just want one minute where I’m not supplying everything…the financial, the schoolwork, the encouragement, the physical play.” My heart goes right back to the moment in time she is living through. And then her eyes fill with tears and this stranger becomes a friend, “Will it ever get easy…this being alone and being everything to everyone.” My heart fills with compassion for the place she finds herself. I can only tell her to find the moments to enjoy, that as tired as she becomes not to miss any moment…because they are so fleeting. I hear my voice now quivering and realizing that so deep within me I’m dealing with the change in my home, in my life of blinking and my boys being out on their own.

Even now, life is so different. It’s more guiding, than teaching. More reminding, than telling. Less roots, more wings. And even this stage I love. I love that my life with my sons is still filled with deep questions in the night about how to forgive and what makes a girl more special than the others. What commitment is and why the bond of family is important. The debate of finding faith and realizing it makes a difference. The all-important questions of when the Phillies are going to turn it on this year.

There is a peace now. Because the foundation is set, and even though it still needs readjusting, rexamining from time to time, I’m so sure of the foundation, of my Rock, of who has been my partner in these years of creating, shaping, becoming. And I love the sounds of the boys becoming solid friends and the joyful, deep belly laughter we still share. I love the way they sitll look me and the way I still feel when they walk in the room. Yet, I know I will just blink and they’ll be gone from me…we’re holding on ever so gently now…as it should be.

And the thought comes to me quickly, but I've been thinking about it for so long. That my life a mother and especially a single mother has been so much about doing my best, taking leaps of faith and then letting go. It has been like a coming of age…letting go instead of holding on… letting of go of my husband (and best friend) through divorce, letting go of pain and choosing forgiveness, letting go of despair and choosing hope, letting go of perfection and choosing humanness, letting go of perception and choosing truth, letting go of dreams to forge new ones, letting go of loved ones with the reassurance we will be joined again, letting go of judgments and allowing freedom.

As I walk out of the woods in the park I hear this incessant chirping. I can’t believe what I’m seeing and I know, once more, it is God’s awakening me to all that is real and beautiful and points me to His glory. High above, a mother robin, is edging her baby to the rim of the nest…and she nudges again and the baby robin takes flight. And I am left in awe…of the moment, of the experience, of my life.

A Prayer from This Mother

When I close my eyes in prayer
And I feel the stillness of the night
And I am bathed in the quiet of your presence
My heart full of the gift of this day
I am covered by your love and grace.

The depth of my soul stirs
And I am so eternally grateful for being a Mom--
These precious lives – meant to hold for only a moment
And I am filled to overflowing with the joy of my life.

I wondered so long about my life’s purpose
Until the day I held my first child and knew
The course of my life had changed
As I began this journey of motherhood

The journey as beautiful as the destination
And though sometimes the road was filled
With twists and turns I never expected
I know the plan was set before me

And going the road alone has its challenges
But they are not outweighed by the indescribable joy
The gift of creating foundation and establishing roots
And partnering with a God who never, ever leaves

Learning when to hold on and when to let go
When to impart truth and when to keep silent
Knowing that being on my knees in prayer
As important as telling my own story

Even now, when I look in their eyes
I know them deep into their souls
Everything else falls away
But this unconditional, unmovable, unshakable love

Thank you for the profound privilege, God of my life
For the gifts of these miracles you’ve let me borrow
And for, along the way, making my life deeper and richer
Than I ever could have been had I not received these blessings.

Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Happy Mother's Day!